IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL

I was laying on the ultrasound table. Shawn was holding my hand on my left and the nurse was on my right doing her thing. We were waiting in anticipation to hear if our baby was still with us. The nurse had the screen turned in such a way that we couldn't see it. I wanted to scream. “Can't you at least let me see?” I wanted to ask a hundred questions. “Does everything look normal? Is the baby okay? The heart is still beating right? Can you make the heart keep beating? Do something! Make sure that baby is still okay.” But there was nothing I could do except lie still and wait. There was protocol to follow. Even tho she already knew the answer she would first have to call my doctor who would then call me with the news. It could be a few hours before we knew.... yes or no, life or death, joy or sorrow...

A feeling of panic began to rise up deep within me. “I have to know now!” Tears began to flow, again. I started praying. “Lord Jesus, please surround us with Your peace. God, I need Your peace right now.” Immediately words from a song began to filter through my mind and calm my soul.

When peace like a river attendeth my way

When sorrows like sea billows roll

Whatever my lot

Thou hast taught me to say

It is well, it is well with my soul

There it was, peace. The peace I prayed for gently came and rested upon me. I felt it as clearly as if someone would have lain a warm shawl across my shoulders. We would be okay. Somehow. God is here, and it doesn't matter what the circumstances are, God would take care of us. There is no safer place to be then in God's presence, in His plan.


A few hours later we got the word that our precious baby was in heaven with Jesus.


As the days went by and life tried to return to normal I continued to sense the peace of God surrounding me. It was beyond understanding. I can't explain it, it was there.

A few weeks later, on a Sunday morning, I happened to come across an article written by Ann Voskamp that really spoke to my heart.

All that matters, Lord, is that it is well with my soul.

It may not be well with our bodies, the sink, the laundry,

the work, the wallet, the week ahead, or the world,

but it is well with our soul because...

Your grace touch is salve enough for our wounds.

Your certain hope is water enough for our parched places.

Your unfailing arms are more than welcome enough for our rest.

So it is well with my soul and that is why all is well,

why even now, even we are well.

-Ann Voskamp

I read it and reread it. It was perfect. I read it to Shawn and we talked about it. Yes, that's exactly it. I can say it is well with my soul, because God's arms are holding us. I continued on with my morning, made a cup of coffee, and Shawn turned on the radio. The first words of the song that was playing was... “It is well, it is well with my soul.” I stared at the radio and Shawn exclaimed, “That's the song!!” You can't explain it. It was no coincidence. In fact, it wasn't even the famous hymn by Philip Bliss that was playing, it was a song by Kristene DiMarco and she had penned that famous phrase into her song. We had turned on the radio at the exact moment of that song to hear those words, “It is well, it is well with my soul.” God ordained that moment. He created it, and made sure everything was exactly in place at the right time. His hand was clearly upon us that morning. The experience left me in awe of God's love for me. He loves me so much, and I am so undeserving. Too often I fail to praise Him or forget to spend time with Him or complain about silly things that don't go my way. His love is faithful. My disobedience and negligence doesn't change or diminish His love for me.

God is indeed so very good. His presence, His peace, His love, His faithfulness, is beyond understanding. I can't explain it.

“May Christ through your faith [actually] dwell (settle down, abide, make His permanent home) in your hearts! May you be rooted deep in love and founded securely on love. That you may have the power and be strong to apprehend and grasp with all the saints [God's devoted people, the experience of that love] what is the breadth, and length, and height and depth of it. [That you may really come] to know [practically, through experience for yourselves] the love of Christ which far surpasses mere knowledge [without experience]: that you may be filled [through all your being] unto all the fullness of God [may have the richest measure of the divine Presence, and become a body wholly filled and flooded with God Himself]!” (Ephesians 3:17-19 amplified)

Chew on that for awhile.