Wonderings

I wonder how different our life would be if we were celebrating our son's first birthday. Would we have a huge party? Would he be walking and getting  in to everything? Would we have moved to Stevens? What would our marriage be like? Would I be taking the miracle of our son for granted? Would I cherish every moment? Would everyone say, "Oh, he looks just like his daddy!"

I can sit and wonder about the "what if's" and the "why's"  And I will for a bit. But then my thoughts turn to God's goodness and I see how He has carried us through this hard journey. I see His strength when I couldn't go on. I feel His presence when I cried into the late hours of the night.  I hear Him whisper words of love and promises.  I feel His gentle touch holding me when no one else understood. And I know beyond the shadow of a doubt, that God's love for me is real and evident. That alone makes all the wonderings and the what if's a little more meaningful, a little more worth it.