Summer Challenge

 This morning when I awoke, I had this feeling that God wanted to show me something important. I started laundry, checked my email and facebook and still felt this nagging feeling... What was it? I could describe it as a craving, a longing, or maybe just suspense. I felt God beckoning me to spend time with Him. So I opened my Bible and began reading Psalm 105. Vs 4 says... "CRAVE Him, and His STRENGTH"  Was that is? Is that what God wanted to show me? Is that what I felt? I kept reading. Both ch. 105 and 106 talk about God's mercy towards the Children of Israel. God delivered them. They rejected Him. They cried for mercy. God forgave them. They rejected Him. They cried for mercy. God forgave them. Over and over God keeps forgiving them. "Many times did God deliver them, but they were rebellious in their counsel... nevertheless God regarded their distress... remember His covenant... according to the abundance of His mercy and loving-kindness..." I underlined these verses and wrote... Faithful Mercy. As I thought about all that God had done for His people, I had this longing to sit under teaching... take classes... hear the old familiar stories... to be captivated by the love and mercy God has for His children. I really should spend more time reading the Bible. Suddenly the thought came to me... Maybe I should read the Bible through in 90 days!!! I've done it before, and have been wanting to do it again sometime. Maybe now is the time. Hey, there are about 90 days left before school starts. I could totally do that!!!  It wouldn't be that hard. I have a lot of free time these days. So I searched it, came across a web site and schedule. And then lo and behold, I see they have a summer reading program beginning June 1st. This summer hundreds of people will be reading the Bible through in 90 days. When is June 1st tho? I look on my cell phone....  I can't believe it. June 1st is TODAY!!!  HOLD IT!!!!!  And suddenly I knew what God was trying to say to me. I knew why I felt what I did.  

If I have a lot of time to be on facebook, and read novels, then surely I have enough time to read 16 chapters a day in the Bible. I know it will be difficult at times, especially on weekends, and over the time we move and stuff. But I can do this. I still have a lot of free time in my day. I decided that I need to set up something for when/if I get behind. I love coffee, and I love my facebook time. The day I get behind, I will not have coffee, or go on facebook, until I am caught up with my reading. (That also includes Tim Horton's and Starbucks.) So begins a summer adventure/challenge. I am looking forward to it. It is a rewarding goal. Anyone want to join me?

The Creator's Praise

The birds with their music 

The leaves with their glow 

The river a flowing 

The wind it does blow

The sun shinning brightly

The sky very blue

The lilacs all scented 

Sing praises to You

Can you hear their praises?

Do you see His face?

Can you feel His presence 

when all seems disgraced?

He's trying to show you

His love every day

So keep your eyes focused

and look for the way

Sometimes it's too easy

to forget His love

We fret and we worry

and don't look above

But God will be watching

and waiting for us

To notice the blessings

He's made just because 

So stop what you're doing

and look with delight

The things God will show you

will make your heart light

You'll want to start singing

 and dancing for Him

To thank and to praise Him

for love He's given

tidbits and blessings

    The last few weeks have been a little discouraging, looking for work, daily scrolling through Kijiji, emailing resumes, making phone calls, or trips into the city checking for work. Still I wait.... but hopeful of possibilities around the corner.

     We are also looking for a new place to rent. We have to be out of our current place by July 15, so we've been looking around for the perfect place, in size, price, and location. There are definitely many places out there available to rent. It's hard trying to figure out what is the BEST place for us. If I had a job already lined up, that would answer a lot of questions.... but the future is unknown.


     However.... I have truly been blessed lately. Janelle Glick, the lady of the house we are renting from now, takes good care of me. She loves to talk, and gives me ideas of places to check out for work, helps me write a resume, gives us some of her AMAZING chicken and potatoes, invites me to do things with her, and lets me take her boys out for walks. She is really an amazing lady, and we are becoming good friends. One day last week she invited me to go with her to a Mother Daughter sewing circle at her church. Her mom couldn't come so she asked me. (Janelle is about 2 years older then me) Normally it really wouldn't be my thing, but because she was only going for a few hours, and I had nothing planned I decided to go along. Plus there was a huge carry-in dinner. :) So I went, and immensely enjoyed myself. I met a few, old, MBS, acquaintances, and had fun meeting new, oldish, Mennonite, ladies. And the food was AMAZING!
     One day I took Dante for stroller ride. I was amazed at all the different smells. Dirt, diesel, fresh cut grass, a variety of leaves, flowers and bushes, rotting carcasses, fresh bread, and laundry detergent, just to name a few. Plus there were a few unrecognizable smells. I marveled at how an inch wide space on my face, could take all these different smells in, and my brain would recognize each one separately. What an amazing gift, the sense of smell.
    This morning Janelle and I got up early and went garage saleing together. It was much fun!!! We found some really amazing deals, and it was just fun being out with mobs of other people, looking for that "really good bargain." I found some much needed double size sheets for $1, an espresso machine, a french press for Twila, and I bought my first cookbook for $.50. Yes it was a good morning, rain and all.
     We are now planning an excursion to value village, and Joann's fabric sometime in the near future. Neither of us enjoy sewing, so that's unfortunate.


     Last night Kendra Frey, a good friend I met at SMBI, and I went out for coffee. We had a nice LONG chat, until the coffee place closed, then we went walking down the streets of Elmira. We walked and talked, and shared our hearts, and laughed, and really had a good time.


So yes, God is good, friends are fun, and I'm learning to wait, rest, and trust.

Prayer

    I've been thinking a lot about prayer. God has been speaking and prompting me to pray more. He's been showing me, that NOTHING is too little to pray about, and as I wash the dishes I pray for the little things in life. God delights in answering. But more then that, it changes, and deepens, my relationship with Him. It inspires me to praise Him for ALL that He IS doing! Cause God is working, in HUGE ways, through little things. Prayer is powerful!

"There is no power like that of prevailing prayer, 

of Abraham pleading for Sodom, 

Jacob wrestling in the stillness of the night, 

Moses standing in the breach, 

Hannah intoxicated with sorrow, 

David heartbroken with remorse and grief, 

Jesus in sweat of blood. 

Add to this list from the records of the church your personal observation and experience, and always there is the cost of passion unto blood. 

Such prayer prevails. 

It turns ordinary mortals into men of power. 

It brings power.

 It brings fire. 

It brings rain. 

It brings life. 

It brings God." 

Samuel Chadwick

  

Peace

 A cypress tree

      My thoughts have been going a thousand different directions the last week or so. Not only are they really confusing, but some of them aren't even worth mentioning. Last week Tuesday I packed up my car with all my important possessions and moved to Waterloo, Ontario. There were so many unanswered questions that clouded my mind. The main one being what I should do about the offer to teach at Countryside Christian School. But as I drove, great amounts of PEACE flooded my soul. I began praying and found that God was so very close and comforting. He was right there with me, giving me assurance that I was doing the right thing, and He would lead me. It was beautiful!! There are some verses in Isaiah that have been very special to me the last few years. They say...

       I will go out with JOY and be lead by the Lord, with PEACE. The mountains and the hills will break forth before me into SINGING, and all the trees of the field shall CLAP their hands. Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress tree, and instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree; and it shall be to the Lord for a name of renown, for an everlasting sign of jubilant exaltation and memorial to His praise, which shall not be cut off.

      Isn't that beautiful! And yes, as I was driving God reminded me of my favorite verses. It was like God was saying... 

     "Amanda don't you see! I have an amazing plan for you! I am leading you to a new land, with new opportunities. Just rest in Me. You may be uncertain, and unsure of what to do, but I am guiding you. I will not let you go. I will not hurt you. Just trust Me, and follow My heart."

       What promises!!!! So I did.... but as the due date to give my answer to Countryside grew nearer I again found myself worrying about what to decide. I felt like if I would say "Yes" I would regret it, and if I would say "No" I would regret it. I again sought for God's guidance, and again He reminded me that He would lead me with JOY and PEACE. I prayed again and drove off to my meeting, still unsure as to what my answer would be. But as I drove I thought of all the little things that God had been showing me. All the little nudges, and signs that were pointing in the same direction. "But God," I said, "What if it's a wrong decision? What if I regret it? What if I fail? What if I get hurt? What if I feel like I'm in prison? I won't be able to get till next summer." The moment I started questioning and doubting, God again had to remind me...

     "I am HERE! I am with YOU! I am leading you. I have an amazing plan for you! Just trust me."
(You would think I would learn) :)  I gave it all to God and said, Ok, I will teach, my answer is yes. God is with me! He has a plan for me in this. Instantly great amounts of PEACE flooded my soul. I knew I had my answer. I knew I was following God's heart. The mountains and hills were singing, and the trees of the field were clapping their hands, but they weren't the only ones giving jubilant praise to God, my heart was free and light. God had spoken and given peace, why wouldn't I praise Him?

A myrtle tree

fish tank, friends, and sunglasses

   After a fitful night of being awoken, (if that's a word) on more then one occasion by the barking dogs, and waking up with a stiff neck, I proceeded to get ready to go clean house for a friend of mine. But about 40 min before I had to leave she told me she was sick, locking the door, and going back to bed. Suddenly the day seemed huge and leery. I first spent some time writing an email or two, facebooking, checking my blog, you know the normal things, while I thought about how I was going to fill my day. The frightful stack of weekend dishes on the counter were loudly screaming my name, as was the disgustingly green slimy fish tank which hadn't been cleaned in over a year. (I've been gone!) It's been on my list of things to do sometime this week. And suddenly I feel ambitious and full of energy. 
     The dishes....  note to self: when leaving dishes sit for a few days, at least soak them or rinse them off before just letting them SIT. 3 day old dried hash brown fried skillets take a long time to clean. Lets just say the project took awhile.
.... as did the fish tank. But it was easier to clean, and fun!!! :) I counted 47 guppies. I was going to take "before" and "after" pictures of the tank, but I forgot till I was about half way done. Now the little fishes are just a swimming around, enjoying the clear glass and clean water. There are some really pretty colored fish in there. Such tiny detail.
    Between fish tank and supper, I had an amazing conversation with a friend of mine. She encouraged me so much and made me grin from ear to ear. I was reminded that God knows exactly what we need from whom at the exact time. She was Jesus to me, and it totally made my day! Even Jolene commented on the fact that I was "Glowing about something." I LOVE my friends, and I LOVE Jesus, who gave me so many good amazing friends. 
   For some reason the ambitiousness did not leave. This evening I felt like cleaning, and going through drawers and JUNK. It's a strange feeling. Usually I have to make myself get up and do stuff. But not tonight. At 10:30 I was still going strong. (I'm a night person) I tackled laundry, went through sweaters and desk drawers , (found some floppy disks, and a camera, you know the kind that takes film) I put some more recent pictures in frames, and I cut myself for the 4th time today. It's kind of funny cause at SMBI in the kitchen I was kind of known for getting cut a lot. But today I didn't even handle a knife and I still got cut.
    So I was cleaning out some drawers in a desk and I came upon 3 pair of sunglasses!! I couldn't believe it. Last week when Twila left I told her she could keep the sunglasses (they were mine) in her car. But a few days later, I was desperately wishing I had a pair. I almost made a special trip to the dollar store just to get a pair. But I decided that was foolish and since I was counting my pennies, I could do without sunglasses. As soon as I spotted the first pair I was like awww I have sunglasses!! Then I saw 2 more pair, and I knew that God was trying to get my attention. It was God's way of saying, "You can trust me with ever little need." I have a GREAT God!
   I finally had to tell myself "ok, after this you are quiting for the day," and I did, but then I felt like blogging about it, and now it's late... oh well. I enjoy late quiet nights. It's been a strange, but good rewarding day. And the dog has started her barking again....sigh. I like dogs, so I won't complain too much, but could she please quit barking?

learning to trust

        Do you ever wonder why God allows us to go through hurtful experiences? Why would God choose me to go through painful things, especially if He knew I was going to make wrong choices and it would affect my relationship with Him?  I really struggled with these questions last summer.  How could I trust Him with my future? What if God lead me somewhere again, and then just allowed me to get run over and hurt?
       There is a poem that talks about a little girl who had a father that was digging out a well. She brought him lunch, and wanted to join him in the well. The well was dark, and she couldn't see her father. Her father told her to jump, reassuring her that he would catch her. The poem goes on to talk about how that's what trust is. Sometimes in life it's dark, and we can't see what lies ahead, but God is asking us to jump, He will catch us. 
        I knew that's what God was asking me to do. Just trust Him. He will catch me....  but I felt like I had jumped into the well, expecting God to catch me, and He had dropped me. I wondered what kind of a God would do that to me...  but I still heard God say, "Trust Me." Although I didn't have answers... I was trying to trust Him. 
       A few months later, when I was spending some time praying, God gave me this vision of a plastic ball floating in water. The ball was just floating along, and then a hand came and pushed it down into the water. The hand let go and the ball bounced up. The hand did it again, and the farther down the ball was pushed into the water, the farther the ball bounced when it came out of the water. God said, "You are the ball. And in order for you to grow, in order for you to "get higher"  you need to be pushed deeper. I did drop you. I had to drop you so I could heal you. I had to bring pain into your life, so when your heart begins to soften, when you start to grow, you would be MORE like Me then if you never would have experienced the pain. But just like the hand on the ball, I have My hand on you! I know what you can handle, what pressure you can take, how much you can be pushed, and I'm not gonna let you go!!! You are Mine girl. Yes you did make wrong choices, and yes, I could have used you a lot more if you wouldn't have reacted so much to the pain.  You need to learn to trust Me, even when I drop you."
        It was a beautiful and humbling experience. God is amazing, and even though it's overwhelming when He speaks to me over and over again. And shows me again and again things I need to change, it is also very comforting, because I know He really cares about me, I matter as a person, and He has a special purpose He wants me to fulfill.
       So if you are experiencing pain, and you find yourself blaming God, and asking Why? just rest in the fact that He wants to do some amazing work in you. He wants you to grow, and become more and more like Him. He knows your heart, your response to the pain, and what you can handle. He has His hand on you, and will not let you go. Keep resting, keep trusting, keep seeking God with all your heart. He is the Master Healer.